Swipe some tp from Quality Meats (left) and take it across the street to Kobe Club (right).Photo: Daniel Maurer
Theme: Sparkling tiles, mirrored stall doors, and warm filament-bulb lighting vaguely evoke a spa (see also Public).
The lounge: Downstairs, a diorama-like nook done up in flock wallpaper contains two chairs, an old rotary phone, and a Lucite bull’s head.
Amenities: Over a disposal hamper, a shelf holds enough hand towels to dry off a herd of cattle. In the stalls, tp rolls are covered with custom paper.
Drawbacks: The men’s-room door doesn’t close completely, so you can hear screams of “STEAK ME!” from the nearby kitchen. The low-rider toilets are built for circus midgets.
Strategy: Hide out in one of the stalls so you can overhear the usual steakhouse-restroom banter: “Dude, is that hostess smokin’ or what?” “You should totally go for her, bro.”
Rating: 
Theme: As Platt put it in his review, “Unisex bathrooms done in what might be described as a neo-seventies Bob Guccione motif.”
The lounge: A narrow hallway where two wood-and-leather chairs with leather pillows flank not a rotary phone but a Zen-type plant tray.
Amenities: Mirrors everywhere; deep sink basins; and coolest of all, a pull chain descending from the ceiling causes the toilet to flush.
Drawbacks: In one of the small WCs, the push-down soap dispenser got a little too excited and squirted all over us — then the faucet didn’t work.
Strategy: Scrawl on the walls: “BRUNI WAS HERE.” We dare you.
Rating: 
