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We never know what to think when we see the “Best Dressed Real Men in America ” in the pages of Esquire . Are they freakish dandies, movie-set extras posturing for imaginary cameras, or are we just shlubby? The answer might be the former, going by Bar Veloce manager Thomas Crowley, who appears in the current issue. So who is he, really? A visit to Crowley's MySpace page reveals a veritable shrine to preening dorkery.

Calling himself “The Thomas Crowley Affair,” the mustached bon vivant lists among his favorite pastimes “flag burning,” “synchronicity,” and “pin-stripes, Windsor knots and other sartorial particularities.” But that’s not the best part. Under his dislikes, Crowley claims “saxophone solos (unless it's Spandau Ballet, where they make perfect sense, don't they?).” Absolutement! The self-described swinger, though, is less than candid in his job description: We don’t think that managing Bar Veloce really qualifies as “world domination.” On the other hand, no one is nominating us for best-dressed men.

The Best Dressed Real Man in America [Esquire]