Maxim Prime to Contain First-Ever Tequila Sommelier?

Maxim Steak

What we think you'll be served at Maxim Steak.Courtesy of Maxim; iStockphoto (meat)

The Times today confirms that this summer Jeffrey Chodorow will open a steakhouse, Center Cut, in the Empire Hotel and the real horror show a Maxim-magazine-branded steakhouse to replace Ono in the Gansevoort Hotel in late March. Will it be a breastaurant combining boob tubes and tube tops la Hooters, or will Chodorow go for something a tad bit more refined? Below, our predictions for the experience.

Waitresses serving juicy T-bones while wearing Juicy Couture T-backs.
Beer helmets custom manufactured to accommodate $1,000 bottles of Krug.
Maximum cockupancy sign lights up when too many dudes are in the room.
Mac 'n' cheese on the menu, guys cheesily macking on the waitresses at the tables.
Takeout food served in douche bags.
Waitresses serve your entre with extra jiggle if you order the steak and shake special.
Restaurant playlist comprised completely of manthems such as Rock You Like a Hurricane.
First-ever tequila sommelier Tila Tequila?
Cuddle shuttle, manned by strippers, running between Maxim Prime and Roberts at the Penthouse Executive Club.

Of course, Chodorow has told the Observer that Maxim Steak will be an intelligent steakhouse for intelligent people, so who are we to say?

Off the Menu [NYT]
Chodorow Eats New York [NYO]