Thanks to Heartland Brewery, Frat Boys Will Never Go Thirsty

heartland brewery
Big deal. Photo: Photo courtesy of Heartland Brewery

As if to spit in the face of the shrinking pint, Heartland Brewery has unleashed “the Beer Goddess,” a three-liter (or 6.3-pint) pilsner glass that customers can fill for $49 (the glasses themselves, of which there are 100, aren’t for keeps). Heartland claims this is Guinness-worthy (the record book, not the beer), but we regret to inform them that they’ve failed to outdouche outdo Bounce Deuce’s $34 Table Tapper — a three-foot plastic tube dispensing up to 116 ounces of brew (a good 15 ounces more than the Beer Goddess). One question: Can you do the biggest boilermaker of all-time by dropping a 74-ounce truffletini into this thing?