Cupcake Pushers Seek to Ruin Super Bowl for Everybody

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It’s rather shocking, but during this time when we all must join together as a nation and celebrate the ideals upon which this great country was built, Kyotofu is throwing an anti–Super Bowl party. That’s right, they’re not above celebrating the groupthink nightmare that is Valentine’s Day with a $35 prix fixe (indeed they’re flying in fresh strawberries from Fukuoka, just so they can dip them in chocolate!), but what will this fine establishment be doing on Super Sunday, from 5:30 p.m. onward? Two-for-one cocktails, half-priced sake, dessert specials, and (here’s where our head explodes) free cupcakes. Plus, a screening of Tampopo.

Magnolia Bakery, meanwhile, is taking a decidedly less antagonistic approach — starting this weekend, they’ll be selling vanilla and chocolate cupcakes that will be decorated in team colors, with a choice of football, Championship Ring, or XLIII imagery. You can even order them for delivery if you call two days in advance. With any luck we’ll be far, far away from this silliness on Sunday — ideally, pounding super dogs at Pittsburgh’s hallowed “Dirty O.”