‘Satan’s Piss,’ and 49 Other Things Four Loko Tastes Like

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This weekend on Saturday Night Live’s "Weekend Update," Bobby Moynihan busted out his Guy Fieri impression and, even better, Jason Sudeikis came on as Four Loko creator Chris Hunter. “It tastes like Satan’s piss,” he said of his own product, and it wasn’t the first time the stuff has been compared to piss (whether it be cat piss, rat piss, horse piss, Thor’s piss, or Gremlin piss). Here are the most colorful results we got when we Googled “Four Loko + tastes like.” Add your own in the comments.

“It’s like Robitussin mixed with cheap vodka that’s been filtered through a cheese cloth made of woven hatred.“ —Holy Taco

“I can only imagine that these cans are filled by a long assembly line of Smurfs vomiting.” —One Foot Tsunami

“Four Loko tastes more like a vile concoction that some sadistic, drug-addled chemist created while locked up in his underground laboratory equipped with too much battery acid and not enough soda.” —MN Daily

“This tastes like cleaning product and Jolly Rancher.” —Awl

“It just tastes like a can of Hawaiian Punch that somebody buried in the yard for several years.” —Guyism

“It tasted like Ecto Cooler that had been brewed in Amy Winehouse’s p*ssy.” —Guyism

“You know what this drink tastes like? Have you ever put jeans in your mouth? … I don't think I can think of something that tastes worse than this. Maybe a dog vomiting directly into my mouth” —Gizmodo

“Tastes like sugary nail-polish remover” —Houston Press

“Tastes like Jolly Ranchers baked into rye bread and are 12% alcohol.” —Street Boners

“It tastes like the backside of a bat… It tastes like rancid Tang.” —Bartender at West Palm Beach Bar.

“It tastes like fruit punch and gasoline as filtered through a colostomy bag.” —Porland Monthly commenter

“It tastes like a Welch’s Grape Soda that’s been sitting in my trunk fermenting for 10 years.” —Fisted commenter

“This stuff tastes like Kool-aid mixed with acetone.” —Fresh Off the Boat commenter

“It tastes like a Jolly Rancher with Robitussin.” —Eddie Huang

“Tastes like the under side of an angel's ball sack.” —Cracked

“Four Loko tastes like battery acid in a can.” —College Candy

“Tastes like gold flakes.” —Chocolate City

“It taste like licking the cat piss off a rusty metal surface.” —Serious Eats commenter

"It tastes like sucking on a Sour Patch Kid with a roofie in the middle of it." —SLOG

“Tastes like watermelon Bubblicious gum. With the wrapper. In a blender. And some cocaine. With levamisole.” —SLOG

“It tasted like prison wine made from Fruity Pebbles” —The Desert Lamp

“Tastes like Gremlin piss mixed with anti-freeze and battery acid.” —Booze Party

“Tastes like sucking watered down Robitussin through a used coffee filter.” —Somerville Blog

“Imagine a can full of Thor's piss after the Norse god has just chugged some Dimetapp.” —Seattle Weekly

“Tastes like rejection and morning-after regret” —West Word

“Tastes like a hobo puked in a box of Trix.” —Drew Kaufman

“Like a Jolly Rancher that should attend 12-step meetings, one sip of this puts you in the shoes of someone who regularly drinks Lysol.” —Fork in the Road

“Tastes like rat piss” —BroBile

“It tastes like runoff from a wet dog that has been shampooed with urine and tanning oil.” —Drink to Blog

“Tastes like poverty.” —Mog Music Network

“It tastes like Pixy Stix and electrified bathwater.” —Daily Northwestern

“Tastes like bad decisions and awesomeness.” —Oh Hell Nawl

“It tastes like candy that was left in a dirty gutter full of crackhead pee.” —Coachella

“Tastes like day-glow watermelon ass” —Oregon Commentator

“It tastes like raspberries that have been sitting in the sun for 3 years, mixed with everclear and piss.” —MySpace

“Tastes like what normal malt liquor might taste like immediately after brushing your teeth.” —Awl

“Tastes like if Monster and vodka had sex then an abortion it would be four loko.” —BroBible

“Tastes like rusty stomach cancer.” —Rap Music

“"it just tastes like all the shit people pour into the bowl for Captain Dickhead."” —Adam Lucidi

“Four Loko tastes like a King Cobra raped by a pack of Sweet Tarts.” —DannyFordIsGod’s Twitter

“Tastes like drinking watermelon-flavored paint thinner” —Seattle Weekly

“It's like flavored blunt wraps, but alcohol!” —Xiao Ye party attendee

“Reminiscent of lemon rinds rubbed in aluminum with a strong aftertaste of vomit.” —Food/Atlantic

“Like drinkin medical grade cleaning alcohol with a hint of watermellon.” —The Diesel Garage

“It was like chugging whiskey from the bottle while eating the world's biggest wad of Big League Chew and then immediately doing a key bump of cocaine.” —Friend of Grub Street

“It tastes like a hangover going down.” —Pitch

“If tastes like a huge piece of Hubba Bubba that Jackie Gleason has just spit into your mouth” —Seattle Weekly

“The taste is like if someone took about five of the Crystal Lite individual lemonade packets and dumped them into a can of concentrated Steel Reserve. “ —Tippman

“It tastes something like fruity rat poison.” —Wall Street Oasis

“Tastes something like artificial fruit, NFL Jerseys, and downing a can Decorative fruit.” —Qingdao Orient Enterprise