People Keep Coming Up With ‘Rules’ for Drinking, Fail to Realize How Easy It Actually Is

By
Photo: Hannah Whitaker/New York Magazine

First it was Sam Sifton, dispensing bar-going advice for a person who is soon-to-be-turning 21 years of age (know your order, "do not be a jerk about being asked to show I.D.," tip well, etc.). We'll go out on a limb and say that advice is probably more apt for somebody who is about to turn 17 or 18, but we digress. There's also Esquire's Eat Like a Man blog, which is breaking out some rules for drinking on the beach: "Successful beach drinking is an aspirational activity ... it requires serious planning and lots of practice." Wha?! Here is how you drink, especially in the summer: find something alcoholic, preferably chilled; pay for it if you must, then consume it. Repeat accordingly. In fact, we're going to go do exactly that in, like, half an hour. We'll see ya out there. [Diner's Journal/NYT, Eat Like a Man/Esquire]