We've seen a lot this week, from vegan bucket lists, bro-friendly coffee brewers, and zombie Todd English. But there's always more to see in the James Weird Awards, our weekly roundup of all the strange food news that's barely fit to print.
• In Victoria, British Columbia, one city official has started handing out lollipops outside of bars as a means of curbing drunken rowdiness. "[A lollipop] reduces noise because you can't really be making a lot of noise when you're sucking a lollipop," she said. "And if it cuts down on dialogue, that could reduce fights." [NPR]
• A police officer in Newark went above and beyond the call of duty by helping deliver a baby in the restroom of an area McDonald's. The mother and her newborn were later taken to a hospital, where the food is only slightly better. [NBC New York]
• A South African man was convicted of assault for spilling his whiskey drink on South African president Jacob Zima. But really, it is a crime to put perfectly good whiskey to waste. [Guardian UK]
• Texas! That's where one prison guard was found guilty of smuggling hacksaw-blade-infested tacos into his workplace. According to testimony, he thought all those sharp, dangerous blades were just "chorizo and eggs." [ABC News]