Anthony Bourdain Is the Total Package

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The next Vanessa Hudgens. Photo: TMZ

It's more like a fuzzy scene from a seventies porno than a legit celebrity-nude-pics scandal, but nonetheless, TMZ has obtained photos of Bourdain lying in his birthday suit on a banana-yellow float, sucking down a bottle of beer. (He does enjoy a skinny-dip.) Bourdain tells TMZ the pictures were actually taken in 1999 by his ex-wife, and the man in the other float is chef Steven Tempel, his pal and former sous-chef. This morning, Ottavia Bourdain tweeted, "You look like a beef jerky," and adds that her husband is one step closer to a Kardashian. Or, just to be nice, we'll say Dirk Diggler. [TMZ]