West Village Chef Suffers Fart Attack

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He who smelt it, dealt it. Photo: Ewing Galloway/Corbis

Well, here's a strange one: Basically, someone claiming to be a chef at a "somewhat famous" meatpacking district restaurant claims he assaulted his employees with flatulence over the last four years, and he will post a new vignette every day on Craigslist to tell that story. "I farted on every single one of my employees," he (or she) writes. "All 37 of them."

"I dont know if I would call myself world famous," the post's author writes, "but I am definitely known in and around NYC," adding that he's had "several specials on foodnetwork [sic]." Then, with scatological reverie worthy of Humbert Humbert, the unnamed chef delves headlong into the story of the "first fart, the maiden fart, the perfect fart," which involved a new cook working the hot-apps station, a hot sauté pan, and an order of fungi misti. The whole thing is here.

However strange, the post seems to be written by someone who knows kitchens. It's too well paced to be vengeful, too unfunny to be parody, and too unspecific to be slander. So far, at least. "I think I will post the story of every single persons very own and original fart on here every night for 37 nights," our mystery cook with tummy troubles writes, threatening more tall tales of cut-cheese in the days ahead. "Some are really good ones, some are just farts, but I will let you be the judge."

I farted on every single one of my employees. All 37 of them. (West Village) [Craigslist]